So today OldMan was working around the back yard doing OldMan stuff…pushing things into bags and taking them to the street.
Suddenly I heard a voice say, “Hey, Stupid! Yeah, you! You’re so dumb that you fall down when you lift your leg!”
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“Someone a lot higher up than you! Better than you. And you know what else? Your girlfriend you hang out with is so ugly that she makes the leaves fall off the trees. She’s so ugly that no one want to sniff her butt!”
And then I saw this little 4Legs across the street through the bars of the gate. That seemed to be where the voice was coming from. So I pushed the gate…it was a little loose, so I pushed my nose through it and took off to challenge him. Sage was right behind me. We tore past OldMan before he even saw us.
We circled around the Stranger. “Hey, Buddy, whadya mean by badmouthing my girlfriend?”
He said, “Not me, man. I didn’t say that. Somebody else.” He was kinda hunkered down like he was afraid. Backed up against the fence, you know? Anyway, I could see that he wasn’t the guy.
“Hey, you got any BACON?”
“No, man.”
“Okay. Seeyah.” Then I peed on him, just because…just because it seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. Then I ran up the street to sniff and pee, sniff and pee.
Sage stayed behind. I could see she thought he was kinda cute, and so she was sticking her butt up in the air, wiggling it around.
,
The female 2Legs with the little hairy thing was screaming, screaming…making this weird sound that hurt my head.
Then OldMan ran up and grabbed Sage and carried her home. He yelled for me to come home, that he had treats for me. He might have said BACON, but I’m not sure. I peed on a few more things, then ran home.
Never did find out exactly who was yelling at me.
